We started to edit in some of the parts of Charlotte waking up into our film. At the moment this is very rough and we need to add lots more colour parts in and maybe slow them down rather than speed them up. We also need to take out the part with the clock as the lighting does not fit in with the rest of the film
Here is our second draft
Monday, 15 February 2010
Second draft
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2 comments:
Aimie, it's really coming on now! Glad you got some bits of Charlotte in there as you can kind of see the story to it now..
Don't know what you've got planned for more editing, but my suggestion would be to make it totally explicit to the audience that she is indeed waking up and the black and white clips are just memories - this means a lot more of Charlotte in colour just before the flashback clip. It needn't be long, just thinking about a second or so but it needs to be set more in colour than in the past - if you know what I mean. From all the shots you got of her, there're plenty of one second different angled clips you lot can use - but you do need more of them in.
And the opening shot of her eyes/make up etc - is that a memory? If so, think you need change it and open with her in reality. Lying unconscious. Then your audience will be able to see the story better..
What do you think?
Just showed it to a couple of my friends and they disagree with me! They've said you need MUCH more of Charlotte in colour at the start - perhaps a setting the scene shot of the woods where she's lying.. camera opens on the trees and then slowly pans and then zooms in on her, feet? Twitching? Or still... hmmm
Also, and we all agree on this, the flashbacks need to be the one second shots, not Charlotte - she's the reality and therefore she needs to dominate the opening scene.. her makeup clip is way too long and the shot from the car window (vision express?) is too repetitive..
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